Daniel
Question:
I am desperate to homeschool my child. I really think it is something God is telling me to do but my husband will not give me his permission. I just know that I could do a good job homeschooling if he would just give me a chance.
Answer:
Oh, I sure sympathize! It is so difficult when you know something would be best for your child, and your husband doesn’t see eye to eye.
Is he a reader? There is lots of great info out there on the negative effects of public school. John Taylor Gatto wrote a paper called “The Seven Lesson Schoolteacher”. Do a search and you’ll find it on the internet. It is very descriptive of the reasons why it does not work well. I also like the book None Dare Call it Education. Here is the description:
Even if you are homeschooling your children, the large majority of all American children will receive a public school education. That means our future communities and nation will be made up of doctors, teachers, businessmen and politicians who have been trained by the public school system. Considering the current unpopularity of Christian values, this is a frightening thing to ponder! This thought provoking book has been thoroughly researched and overflows with quotes and documented information from textbooks, from the media, from the schools themselves concerning an evil agenda for our children. None Dare Call it Education explains why our once great public school system now graduates students who cannot read, write or calculate. “It is must reading for all parents” says Phyllis Schafley of Eagle Forum. If you need a reason to homeschool or want to help your spouse or relatives understand, take a good look at this book. Paperback pocket book, 266 pages, adult reading.
Have you tried the “as if” principle? Acting “as if” things are just the way you want them to be? One gal wanted to homeschool and she just came and introduced herself and began coming to all the activities and got to know us all well and even got permission to take her child out of school for some of the best field trips. Her husband came to our homeschool choir performance to hear his child sing, and he met other fathers and saw the families and saw that the children were good and respectful and different from the normal public school performances he’d attended. Pretty soon, we were her friends and support system and she was very involved with the homeschoolers and when the first hiccup in school came, the husband allowed her to take her child out and homeschool for that year. He wasn’t highly supportive, but he did allow it and she enjoyed homeschooling very much! And taught us all a lesson in appreciation!
Prayer helps too, a lot. One of my friends, years ago, wanted to homeschool so much! She had a large family and lived in a liberal state, and did not like the effects of public school that she was seeing on her older children. She was a religious person and wanted her children to pick up her values. She was such a good wife, that I was amazed! She never talked poorly of her husband, stubborn as he was. She talked to me about what she could do to persuade him. She tried giving him reading material, to no avail. She tried most everything. Finally she decided to pray consistently on the subject. Months went by when she came to me and asked what I thought. She came up with the idea of fasting regularly for him to change his mind, convinced that if she added fasting to her praying, how could God not hear her and soften his heart?! So I agreed to fast with her on that day, regularly, as it came round. Only a few of these fasting days had past when she phoned me excitedly. Her husband had been sitting quietly in the living room reading the newspaper when suddenly he stood up, stomped into the kitchen, and announced, “Okay, then, just homeschool if you want to so bad!”. Ha! We laughed (and cried) a bit. Apparently, the promptings from God to this husband in behalf of his wife’s heartfelt desires became too “loud” to resist! She was able to enjoy homeschooling for a brief period, but it did remind us both that God can do what we cannot.
What doesn’t help is crying, nagging, frowning, arguing . . . . although we all wish it would!
I hope and pray your husband will have a change of heart. Homeschooling is a delight that I wouldn’t want anyone to miss!
May I recommend:
It is her child, too. If she is willing to do the work of homeschooling, and is not asking him to help her do it, he should not object. A man’s job is to love and serve his wife, not to tell her what she can and cannot do. If it is something that is important to her, he should support her.