Don’t "Un-train" Your Kids!

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This past week, we visited Sea World in San Diego and enjoyed ourselves! I couldn’t help noticing the children in the crowd—and the training their parents were unknowingly giving them—in contrast to the sea animals and the purposeful training they were carefully receiving.

When the walrus even turned his head in the right direction, the trainer responded with a big handful of fish, stroking his skin, and praising him. It was obvious that if the trainer ignored good behavior, or approached wrong behavior with a slap or criticism, the walrus would quickly “un-train”. It took constant positive reinforcement to keep the animals willing to do the trainer’s bidding.

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Don’t Ask Twice

 

balls-712026_1280When my kids were younger, going to the grocery store with them could be such a struggle! Each of them in turn was bedazzled by some treat or toy that they caught a glimpse of and the begging would begin: “Can we buy those cookies?” . . . “I want ice cream!” . . . “We don’t have any juice, Mom!” . . . “We need a big ball!”.

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How to Stop Bickering, Pestering, Fighting, Teasing…

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Does life at your house feel like this?

Question:

My son (age 11) and daughter (age 9) seem to bicker and “pick” at each other endlessly—even though they get in trouble for doing it. While we’re doing our schoolwork, it seems that they try their best to annoy each other…and me (making gross noises, talking nonsense in silly voices, humming, etc.). If he’s not complaining about her (“why does she always…”, she’s yelling at him to be quiet so she can work (or whining about it). They have desks and sit across the room from each other (not facing each other either!). This doesn’t happen just at school time, but all day long! They’ve been punished in various ways, but to no avail. I try to keep a good, patient attitude, but some days it’s really difficult. Do you have any ideas to stop the bickering? [Read more…]

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