{"id":1117,"date":"2014-12-27T09:09:11","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T16:09:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/?page_id=1117"},"modified":"2015-07-08T17:11:51","modified_gmt":"2015-07-08T23:11:51","slug":"paper-clip-social-skills","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/paper-clip-social-skills\/","title":{"rendered":"Paper Clip Social Skills"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"macro-651627_1280\"<\/em><\/p>\n

Manners!<\/em> It seems like a constant challenge to try to inculcate excellent social skills into our young\u2019uns. My favorite way to teach good manners has been using the book The 21 Rules of This House<\/a>. My children can recite every rule and explain it perfectly, and still we need work at being courteous and selfless. After going through the 21 rules, we came back to some of them to practice more. It was easy for the children to understand that it is wrong to tell a lie or to hurt someone. But it was harder to follow this rule: \u201cWe speak quietly and respectfully \"The<\/a>one with another.\u201d<\/strong> We had discussed at length what it means to follow this rule, and how it includes not interrupting others or criticizing or gossiping about others. But to know is one thing, and to do is quite another!<\/em><\/p>\n

Finally, I thought of a way to make keeping the rules of good manners into a game that everyone in the family enjoys playing all day long. And it is really helping us to be good!<\/p>\n

The game of Paper Clip Social Skills<\/strong>\u00a0can be played for a few\u00a0hours at a time, and repeated continually. To begin, choose a social skill, manner or rule of courtesy to work on. It could be from the 21 Rules book, or it could be something that you see your children lack training in, such as answering the phone correctly and politely.<\/p>\n

Each person makes a paper clip chain by hooking 10\u00a0paper clips together. (I bought some fancy designed polka dot paper clips, to everyone\u2019s delight!) Hook the first paper clip onto a safety pin and pin it on your clothing in plain sight. Every family member will be wearing a paper clip chain. Remind everyone of the rule you are working on and explain that if anyone catches another family member breaking the rule, the rule-breaker must (cheerfully and in good fun) give one of his paper clips to the person who caught him.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Since we were working on speaking kindly to each other, each negative or critical remark meant\u00a0the offender had to\u00a0relinquish a paperclip to the person who calls them on it, who may then add it to their own chain. At lunchtime, a reward is waiting for the family member who has the most paper clips! Start again with a fresh chain of 10 paperclips for the time period from lunch to dinner, and again from dinner to bedtime. Make the reward simple (a treat, biggest piece of dessert, getting to choose the dinner menu (within limits), getting to choose which game to play, book to read after dinner . . . or let them skip their part in clean-up from the meal, etc.).<\/p>\n

One of the great benefits of this game is that everyone suddenly gets quiet. . .\u00a0(hee hee!) Everyone is thinking before they act<\/strong>, which is a very good practice to develop. I was amazed to find out that I was losing my paper clips right and left! No wonder my children are not as mannerly as I\u2019d like\u2014look who trained them! Pretty soon, I was catching myself in the act, and voluntarily giving up my paper clips whenever I goofed up. It was so helpful to have a constant check on my words!<\/p>\n

Another benefit of this little game is that the children learn good sportsmanship. I remind them that this is just a game, a game we choose to play for fun and to help us become better people. It isn\u2019t something to get upset about. Children can learn that principle from your good attitude when you goof up. It teaches them to be a graceful loser, and even catch themselves happily and laugh at themself. . . a most endearing trait.<\/p>\n

Really, though, it is not a game to become a kinder, more respectful, loving person. It is the great task of our lives!<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0So this is a very meaningful exercise.<\/p>\n

Since we started playing our Paper Clip Game, we have all become more aware of the rule we were working on: \u201cWe speak quietly and respectfully one with another.\u201d We also have come to realize that words are just expressed thoughts, and that we can learn to squelch critical words before they ever form on our lips.<\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

May I recommend:<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n

\"politeanswers\"
\nPolite Answers
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\"ivy-529767_1280\"
\nKind at Home
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\"\"
\nThe 21 Rules of This House
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Manners! It seems like a constant challenge to try to inculcate excellent social skills into our young\u2019uns. My favorite way to teach good manners has been using the book The 21 Rules of This House. My children can recite every rule and explain it perfectly, and still we need work at being courteous and selfless. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5800,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7,10],"tags":[136,253],"class_list":["post-1117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-homeschooling-parenting","category-why-homeschool","tag-kindness","tag-not-fighting","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/macro-651627_1280.jpg?fit=1280%2C629&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6IrRN-i1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8006,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/training-good-behavior\/","url_meta":{"origin":1117,"position":0},"title":"Children, Walruses…and Training Good Behavior","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"When we last visited Sea World,\u00a0I couldn't help noticing the children in the crowd\u2014and the training their parents were unknowingly giving them\u2014in contrast to the sea animals and the purposeful training they were carefully receiving. When the walrus even began to turn his head in the right direction, the trainer\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Life Skills"","block_context":{"text":"Life Skills","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/what-articles\/life-skills-articles\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/walrus-74080_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/walrus-74080_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/walrus-74080_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/walrus-74080_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/walrus-74080_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":839,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/company-manners\/","url_meta":{"origin":1117,"position":1},"title":"Company Manners","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Company's coming . . . and it can be a bit nerve-wracking wondering just what your kids are going to say or do! Get them ready to host guests\u2014or to be good, mannerly guests themselves\u2014wherever you go! I know I find myself reciting a long list of \"be sure you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Molding the Heart"","block_context":{"text":"Molding the Heart","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/why-homeschool\/molding-the-heart\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Emily turns 15 with her towering ice cream cake!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/emilyicecream-238x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2607,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/you-go-first\/","url_meta":{"origin":1117,"position":2},"title":"Sweet Civility","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"The world is getting rude. Sometimes my ears yearn for those soft and fluid words that show our humanity: our belief in Christ and the worth of a soul. The virtues of unselfishness and patience. Ah, words of kindness . . . Print them out and post them on your\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/why-homeschool\/homeschooling-parenting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/69.195.124.81\/~homescp3\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/helping_hand3.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5006,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/homeschooling-ideas-that-work\/","url_meta":{"origin":1117,"position":3},"title":"Homeschooling Ideas that\u00a0Work!","author":"Rick Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Here are some tried and true ideas that really work well in homeschooling! Idea #1: Socializing with other Homeschoolers Since my children really hit it off best with other homeschooling children, we began to search for homeschooling friends by organizing outings such as picnic park outings, sports days, art class\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "How to Homeschool"","block_context":{"text":"How to Homeschool","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/how-to-homeschool\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/homeschoolcampout.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/homeschoolcampout.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/homeschoolcampout.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":843,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/teaching-kids-to-interrupt-politely\/","url_meta":{"origin":1117,"position":4},"title":"Teaching Kids to Interrupt Politely","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Yep, you read it right. 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Emily is a very upbeat, happy spirit and she loves everybody and everything, so it shocked me to see her upset. She only attends 2 classes at our local charter school, and is very studious and diligent in her\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Molding the Heart"","block_context":{"text":"Molding the Heart","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/why-homeschool\/molding-the-heart\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"emilymay2007","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/emilymay2007.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1117","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1117"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1117\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7270,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1117\/revisions\/7270"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5800"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}