{"id":536,"date":"2014-12-05T12:07:46","date_gmt":"2014-12-05T19:07:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/?page_id=536"},"modified":"2015-07-04T07:18:17","modified_gmt":"2015-07-04T13:18:17","slug":"social-life-the-real-need","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/social-life-the-real-need\/","title":{"rendered":"Social Life: The Real Need"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Social

Singing round the campfire at a homeschool campout<\/p><\/div>\n

When I first began homeschooling, all I could think of was academics.<\/strong> I spent lots of research time trying to find the best books and worrying that I couldn\u2019t teach my children all they needed to know. As the years have filed by and I have gained confidence in my ability to teach them and educate them well, I have increasingly become concerned about their social well-being.<\/p>\n

Homeschoolers can be way ahead academically, but it hardly makes up for poor social skills. Sometimes that is the \u201challmark\u201d of a homeschooler: a genius who is awkward and socially backwards.<\/strong> I don\u2019t think it has to be this way.<\/em> If mothers would put some of the effort that they put into worrying about the academic part and instead put it into creating a postiive social environment for their homeschooling children, everyone would be happier and better adjusted.<\/p>\n

Many young mothers begin homeschooling and as they learn and get to know their children better and have fun together, life is pretty good and happy for years. Then their oldest child grows a bit restless, as he is reaching puberty, or a few years before, and homeschooling isn\u2019t as fun. The child who could play with any kid in his church class suddenly feels left out and socially ill at ease. This is the moment that can make or break homeschool. If the mother continues with the status quo, the child can become increasingly uneasy and discontent. If the mother makes an effort to provide a rich social life, everyone benefits.<\/strong> Homeschool can happily continue, and social skills and friendships develop.<\/p>\n

Just how much work is providing a social life for your homeschooled child? Lots.<\/em> I think over the years, I have given increasingly more time to trying to create an oppportunity for my children to meet other homeschooled children with high standards so that friendships can develop.<\/p>\n

I know older mothers that have been homeschooling for many years that put a great amount of effort into the social aspect of their children\u2019s lives. One of our dearest homeschool friends actually drives hours to associate with us\u2014a great blessing for us! But it also illustrates just how important it is to be with like-minded friends.<\/p>\n

Children need friends.<\/strong> The best kind of friends are other children with high standards who are also being homeschooled, sharing the same kind of experiences. Looking for friends among those who attend public school can be searching for a needle in a haystack. There are plenty of good children that go to public school. The problem is that many have learned to \u201cfit\u201d and so they have the markings of \u201cfitting\u201d\u2014the clothes, rock star idols, the cool words, the preoccupation with the social ongoings at the school, the fads, the worldly trappings. This can create an uncomfortable difference for a homeschooler. Another factor in looking for friends amongst the children in the public school system is the fact that they are in school all day long, and have an evening of homework ahead of them. Besides, many have afterschool sports, lessons and eventually part time jobs. They don\u2019t have the social need\u2014in fact, they probably need some time alone to think and daydream. Because the need is not there, they aren\u2019t as eager or able to spend time.<\/p>\n

I have found the most successful path is to search out other homeschoolers and try to build friendships with them. Right off, the children have so much more in common. Their lifestyles and standards are usually similar. They need and enjoy the companionship.<\/p>\n

Where can you find other homeschoolers?<\/strong> It may seem that there are no other homeschoolers in your area, but there are! When I first moved to Utah, I made up flyers and posted them in local grocery stores, the library, and other prominent places. Basically, the flyer said, \u201cHomeschooling? We want to meet you for friendship and activities. My children are such-and-such ages. Please call Diane.\u201d Soon I was getting phone calls and was able to gather a group of LDS homeschooling families to meet at the park. From this group, we made many friends. Just recently, I was at a soccer game and another mother recognized me. Soon we were deep in conversation and discovered that she lives just a few blocks (actually across a big field) from me. For ten years, she has lived there, thinking there were no other homeschoolers in her neighborhood!<\/p>\n

You will be surprised how many homeschoolers there are. Some families feel shy about homeschooling and keep a low profile. If you have a friendly librarian, ask her about other homeschoolers. My librarian tells me you can always spot them. They keep the library in business with their frequent trips and huge numbers of books check out. I suppose if you have a friendly school secretary, she could also tell you who has registered to do homeschool rather than attend public school.<\/p>\n

What can a mother do to help her children fill the social need?<\/strong> I have had the most success in creating activities for others to attend<\/strong>. Most mothers are thankful to have somewhere to take their children to enjoy the company of other homeschoolers. They are usually very willing to drive them to your house. Sometimes, they offer to reciprocate and have the activity at their house too. One of the blessings of being the organizer is that you can pick and choose the best time that fits into your schedule. Your younger children also benefit from being there.<\/p>\n

We have had an ongoing weekly class of some sort or another for many years. When Julianna was 10 years old, it was called \u201cArt Class\u201d. We had other girls her age come to our home every Thursday afternoon for two hours. I would help them do a fun project and, before and afterwards, they would play together. As an adult, Julianna still enjoys the friendships made in that \u201cArt Class\u201d!<\/p>\n

Co-op school is another good way to meet the social need. All it takes is one other family with similar aged children. You can meet once a week or just once a month to \u201cdo school\u201d together. Co-op school means you are teaching other children too, and since you are \u201cin the spotlight\u201d, you often make it extra fun. This takes effort but, of all the things we\u2019ve done, my children have loved co-op school the best.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Field trips, picnics and other out-of-home outings are a good way to get to know another family on neutral territory. I usually just invite one family and most often, our children hit it off and make friends. This doesn\u2019t take much effort, and becomes an anticipated event for my children.<\/p>\n

Teenage parties at our house once a month, with food and games, has been a good way for my teenagers to get to become good friends with other homeschoolers.<\/strong> Teenagers are reluctant and uneasy at first, but most of them don\u2019t have a lot of contact with other homeschoolers, so it is a treat to share their company. They have so much in common that friendships form easily.<\/p>\n

All of these activities take energy and planning on mother\u2019s part, and often it feels like just one more thing in an already packed schedule. I do feel it takes high priority, however, because it makes such a difference in the success of your homeschooling experience. Of all the mothers I talk to that have reluctantly put their children back in school, the single reason that they give is that their children yearned for friends and that homeschooling could not meet that need. You can prevent \u201chomeschool dropout\u201d by providing friendship opportunities.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do yourself and your children a favor. Make your homeschool successful, not just academically, but socially<\/strong> also. It will be a great blessing to your children\u2019s lives!
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

May I recommend:<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n

\"holdinghands\"
\nMaking Friends
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\"studying-703002_1280\"
\nBut What About Social Life?
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\"12319\"
\nExtraordinary Manners
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I first began homeschooling, all I could think of was academics. I spent lots of research time trying to find the best books and worrying that I couldn\u2019t teach my children all they needed to know. As the years have filed by and I have gained confidence in my ability to teach them and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4140,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,8],"tags":[131,154],"class_list":["post-536","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-how-to-homeschool","category-homeschooling-social","tag-friends","tag-social","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/campfire1.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6IrRN-8E","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1040,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/facing-the-first-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":536,"position":0},"title":"Facing the First Day","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s fall time\u2014back-to-school season\u2014and many mothers are facing the first day of homeschool for the very first time. Talking to a few of these mothers made me yearn to write to any mother who is in that wonderful and overwhelming position! If you are bringing children home from public school\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "New to Homeschooling"","block_context":{"text":"New to Homeschooling","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/new-to-homeschooling\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Brothers Ammon and Nathan arm wrestling!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/DCP_4899-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1264,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/home-is-the-school\/","url_meta":{"origin":536,"position":1},"title":"Home is the School","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Homeschooling. Just the word conjures up images of books and desks and computer programs and work, work, work for Mom, doesn\u2019t it, though? But it has come to my awareness lately that \u201cmothering\u201d and \u201chomeschooling\u201d are synonyms. From the moment that tiny babe is laid in your arms, you have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Goals"","block_context":{"text":"Goals","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/how-to-homeschool\/homeschooling-goals\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/ammon_louisa_kitchen.jpg?fit=373%2C280&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6705,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/eleven-year-itch\/","url_meta":{"origin":536,"position":2},"title":"Eleven Year Itch","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Homeschool was going great until my son turned twelve. Now I am struggling to keep him interested. Why? Answer: Because your son has reached what I call the \u201cEleven Year Itch.\u201d It sneaks up on mothers, with their first child. Homeschool seems to be going along in a fairly\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Concerns"","block_context":{"text":"Concerns","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/how-to-homeschool\/homeschooling-concerns\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/prom2009-11.jpg?fit=480%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":685,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/making-friends\/","url_meta":{"origin":536,"position":3},"title":"Making Friends","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: We joined a homeschool coop which is great and I love it. They only meet for \u000b2 hours or so on Friday mornings, though, and then for field trips once a \u000bmonth. Of course, there is no guarantee that the kids in my daughter's class will be at the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "How to Homeschool"","block_context":{"text":"How to Homeschool","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/how-to-homeschool\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"holdinghands","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/holdinghands.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1166,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/is-homeschooling-too-hard\/","url_meta":{"origin":536,"position":4},"title":"Is Homeschooling Too Hard?","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am thinking about homeschooling my 3 children, but I am getting a lot of negative attitude about it. Remarks\u00a0like my children won't be socialized, and it is really hard for parents to do. I know my children will be socialized, they have tons of friends, but is it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "How to Homeschool"","block_context":{"text":"How to Homeschool","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/how-to-homeschool\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"emilycleartheshelves","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/emilycleartheshelves.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1075,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/restless-little-boy\/","url_meta":{"origin":536,"position":5},"title":"What to Do with a Restless Little Boy?","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"I find it a rather interesting fact that 80% of all homeschooled children are boys. That makes a definite statement about the inability of most little boys to sit in desks and endure the regimentation of public school. Little boys are wiggles and adventure. Sitting in a desk for hours\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "How to Homeschool"","block_context":{"text":"How to Homeschool","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/how-to-homeschool\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/69.195.124.81\/~homescp3\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/ammon_biking.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/536","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=536"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/536\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7366,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/536\/revisions\/7366"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4140"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=536"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=536"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=536"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}