{"id":751,"date":"2014-12-02T20:59:52","date_gmt":"2014-12-03T03:59:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/?page_id=751"},"modified":"2015-05-20T18:36:06","modified_gmt":"2015-05-21T00:36:06","slug":"what-do-you-want-mommy-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/what-do-you-want-mommy-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"What Do You Want Mommy to Do?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"whatmommytodo\"<\/p>\n

Working on a quilt with my daughter Julianna<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Years ago, I made a list of all my duties<\/strong> I was attempting to keep up with\u2014which can be voluminous when you are a young mother! It looked something like this:<\/p>\n

Nurse the baby
\nWash the clothes
\nFix meals
\nKeep the house clean
\nDo errands for Daddy
\nTake kids on field trips or outings
\nPlay with the little ones
\nDo my church job
\nTake a child on a one-on-one date
\nWash the dishes
\nLook pretty and fresh
\nClean the bathrooms
\nTake kids to the park or playground
\nBuy groceries
\nRead aloud to the kids
\nBake homemade bread
\nSew costumes or special clothes for the kids
\nPlay games with the kids
\nHelp kids have parties with their friends
\nTake walks with the kids
\nMake Daddy’s favorite meal
\nMend the clothes
\nGo shopping for clothes
\nTeach kids homeschool
\nGo on a date with Daddy
\nMake a meal to take in to the sick
\nRead the scriptures with kids
\nMake treats
\nNot overwork myself
\nSit and talk with Daddy
\nTalk with kids one-on-one
\nGarden
\nHave other families over
\nCook healthy food from scratch
\nGo to bed on time
\nHelp Daddy make financial decisions
\nDrive kids to their activities
\nTeach a class for the kids and their friends
\nMake holidays special
\nHelp neighbors
\nHave dinner ready when Dad gets home<\/p>\n

I planned a family night and passed out a copy to all the kids and Daddy too. I explained to them that there were just 24 hours in each day, and I did need to sleep and take a shower, read my scriptures, etc., so with the time I had to serve them, I asked what would they like me to do specifically. I asked every family member to rate my activities choosing their top 5 in order.<\/strong> I was working hard, but not sure that I was picking the things to do with my time that were most important to my family.<\/p>\n

Wow, was this ever an eye-opener!<\/em> I could hardly believe it when I read over each person’s paper. To one teenage son, having groceries in the house was top priority\u2014I should have figured! To my growing-up girl, long talks were the most important thing I could do in her life. I had spent lots of time making healthy meals from scratch which took lots of time, and yet this didn’t rank on my husband’s priority list. He was happier just to have the dinner ready, than to have me spend a lot of time on it.<\/p>\n

Of course, I have my own priorities, but it is very informative to know what my family members value. If I am going to serve them, I want to score!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sometimes we think we are building a relationship, just to find out that what we are doing is not important (or is even annoying) to the other person. For example, my husband likes a clean kitchen so he does dishes. I am grateful, of course, but doing dishes is low priority for me. I’d rather he sat down and talked to me. Knowing what each other values helps tremendously!<\/strong><\/p>\n

As time changes, so do everyone’s priorities. My little ones wanted to go to the park\u2014it was in their top 5\u2014but those little ones are grown and not so excited to go to the park anymore. They’d rather go on a “walk-and-talk” with Mom.<\/p>\n

I found out, by giving my kids this survey, that they often preferred my eye contact, my listening and talking time to all the running around and trying to make life happen. My individual time with them was the things they remembered most and cherished most. <\/strong>This was both a great relief and a guilt trip (that I hadn’t been more perceptive of their needs and had worn myself out doing not-so-important things).<\/p>\n

What do your kids want Mommy to do?<\/p>\n

What does Daddy want Mommy to do?<\/p>\n

Ask them\u2014you’ll be surprised!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

May I recommend:<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n

\"shipadrift\"
\nAdrift on a Sea of “To-Do’s”?
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\"candycane7\"
\nMinimum Daily Requirement
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\"2163\"
\nWhole Foods for the Whole Family
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Working on a quilt with my daughter Julianna Years ago, I made a list of all my duties I was attempting to keep up with\u2014which can be voluminous when you are a young mother! It looked something like this: Nurse the baby Wash the clothes Fix meals Keep the house clean Do errands for Daddy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,5],"tags":[148,101],"class_list":["post-751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-how-to-homeschool","category-homeschooling-moms-sanity","tag-relationships","tag-schedule","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6IrRN-c7","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":580,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/why-homeschool\/","url_meta":{"origin":751,"position":0},"title":"Why Did You Decide to Homeschool?","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Why did you decide to homeschool? I decided to keep a list of the reasons I have heard from other mothers for taking children out of the public school system: too much disrespect allowed swearing bullies busy work emphasis on peers rather than on family too much value placed on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Molding the Heart"","block_context":{"text":"Molding the Heart","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/why-homeschool\/molding-the-heart\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/DCP_4942.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/DCP_4942.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/DCP_4942.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/DCP_4942.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":809,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wonderful-wonderful-chores\/","url_meta":{"origin":751,"position":1},"title":"Wonderful, Wonderful Chores!","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Not too many people like the word \"chores\", but oh, they can be wonderful! They are the best teacher you'll ever find! They teach a host of skills and virtues such as self-control, \"stick-to-it\"-ness, joy in accomplishment, problem-solving, perseverance, and the work ethic. Plus, they lighten many a tired mom's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "How to Homeschool"","block_context":{"text":"How to Homeschool","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/how-to-homeschool\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/cleaning-268126_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/cleaning-268126_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/cleaning-268126_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/cleaning-268126_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/cleaning-268126_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1166,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/is-homeschooling-too-hard\/","url_meta":{"origin":751,"position":2},"title":"Is Homeschooling Too Hard?","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am thinking about homeschooling my 3 children, but I am getting a lot of negative attitude about it. Remarks\u00a0like my children won't be socialized, and it is really hard for parents to do. I know my children will be socialized, they have tons of friends, but is it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "How to Homeschool"","block_context":{"text":"How to Homeschool","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/how-to-homeschool\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"emilycleartheshelves","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/emilycleartheshelves.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":282,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/shouldnt-you-be-in-school\/","url_meta":{"origin":751,"position":3},"title":"Shouldn’t You Be in School?","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What do I say to people who ask my kids, \"Shouldn't you be in school?\" What do I answer my neighbors, friends, and my own mother? I'm ill-prepared for the confrontation or even accusations that may come from some people, thinking me negligent for not sending my children to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Concerns"","block_context":{"text":"Concerns","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/how-to-homeschool\/homeschooling-concerns\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"homeschooling-Louisa and Ammon","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/homeschooling_1083_zpounce-300x203.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6767,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/all-my-kids-do-is-complain\/","url_meta":{"origin":751,"position":4},"title":"All My Kids Do is Complain","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: All my kids do is complain, whine, and try to get out of school work. Any advice? Answer: Your job is to find the best resources and methods to teach the information in a fun and interesting way that captivates their interest. Are you doing your job? Your children\u2019s\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "How to Homeschool"","block_context":{"text":"How to Homeschool","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/how-to-homeschool\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"DCP_5061","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/DCP_5061-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":685,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/making-friends\/","url_meta":{"origin":751,"position":5},"title":"Making Friends","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: We joined a homeschool coop which is great and I love it. They only meet for \u000b2 hours or so on Friday mornings, though, and then for field trips once a \u000bmonth. 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