{"id":817,"date":"2014-12-29T18:41:40","date_gmt":"2014-12-30T01:41:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/?page_id=817"},"modified":"2015-07-08T16:52:09","modified_gmt":"2015-07-08T22:52:09","slug":"stop-talking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/stop-talking\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Talking"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"milk-chocolate-271176_1280\"<\/a>Yackety-yack!<\/em> We moms sure love to talk. I sometimes wonder what we sound like to our little children!<\/strong> I wonder, if after the first sentence directed at them, they might catch a word here and there<\/em> but not grasp the whole meaning of what we are trying to communicate. They love us, and they listen attentively at times, but I don’t think they always “get it”!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Eavesdrop with me on this family’s wordy mother. Three-year-old Susie just entered the living room with her glass of milk, holding it with both hands, tipping a bit. Mom begins:<\/p>\n

“Oh no, Susie! You’ve got to sit at the table with that glass of\u00a0milk and not come onto the living room carpet because you might spill it and milk is horrible to try to get out of carpet. You’re tipping it now, Susie! Milk can smell really bad if it is spilled in carpet! I’ve told you a hundred times to sit at the table with your food. You are not allowed in here over the carpet with any food. Remember Grandma’s old blue car that accidentally had milk spilled on the floor of the car? It was impossible to get out and always smelled funny. Now Susie, you really need to take that glass of milk\u00a0out of here now.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Did you stick with it? If so, I am sure your eyes were glazing over<\/strong>, just like Susie’s. She might still be standing\u2014tipping glass\u00a0in hand\u2014listening to her mother, but Susie is probably “lost in space”.<\/p>\n

How much more effective to just briefly, kindly, and concisely say: “Susie, go to the table!” Now, that is a clear and simple command<\/strong> that can be followed! And followed-up on!<\/em><\/p>\n

“Yes” and “no”, without elaborate explanations, are just right for kids under about 5 years old. Boys, who tend to be less verbal than girls, especially need us to “cut to the chase”. When children get a little older, sometimes they will truly need an explanation. You can tell when the “why?” is defiant (“why can’t I?!<\/em>) and when it is truly a curious (“why is that?”<\/em>), needing a brief explanation. But they almost never<\/em> need a lengthy explanation. I fear we do overkill with our words and explanations.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Perhaps we mothers could do better if we stopped talking so much!<\/p>\n

To our mutual mothering success!
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

May I recommend:<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n

\"abigail_frowning\"
\nTeaching Kids to Interrupt Politely
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\"boy-504326_1280\"
\nNever Reward Negative Behavior
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\"\"
\nThe 21 Rules of This House
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yackety-yack! We moms sure love to talk. I sometimes wonder what we sound like to our little children! I wonder, if after the first sentence directed at them, they might catch a word here and there but not grasp the whole meaning of what we are trying to communicate. They love us, and they listen […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6244,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7,10],"tags":[264,321],"class_list":["post-817","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-homeschooling-parenting","category-why-homeschool","tag-child-training","tag-listening","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/milk-chocolate-271176_1280.jpg?fit=891%2C1280&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6IrRN-db","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":811,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/polite-answers\/","url_meta":{"origin":817,"position":0},"title":"Polite Answers","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"More and more we are seeing children who just don't reply when they are spoken to. (In fact, I have a daughter who occasionally falls into this category!) Shyness may be an excuse, but really it is not okay to be still when you are spoken to! Even for the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/why-homeschool\/homeschooling-parenting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"politeanswers","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/politeanswers.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":768,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/picking-away-at-happiness\/","url_meta":{"origin":817,"position":1},"title":"Picking Away at Happiness","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Such is the nature of kids: if there is a little hole in something, they pick away at it and the hole grows bigger by the day. I had a tiny hole in the fabric on my living room sofa. 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Consider what a visit from this special guest would be like! It makes me want to re-evaluate everything I say and do in light of His company, and be far better than I am. IF JESUS CAME TO YOUR HOUSE If\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Molding the Heart"","block_context":{"text":"Molding the Heart","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/why-homeschool\/molding-the-heart\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"christcompanyscoming","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/christcompanyscoming.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":393,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/no-children\/","url_meta":{"origin":817,"position":3},"title":"No Children!","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0No Children! No children in the house to play\u2014 It must be hard to live that way! I wonder what the people do When night comes on and the work is through, With no glad little folks to shout, No eager feet to race about, No youthful tongues\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/why-homeschool\/homeschooling-parenting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/spoonful_of_sugar.jpg?fit=368%2C276&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":805,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/precious-body\/","url_meta":{"origin":817,"position":4},"title":"Precious Body","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Aren't babies the greatest? They don't give a smidgen of care to what you dress them up in. It can be on inside-out and backwards, and they don't complain. They don't mind if their hair isn't combed just so. They aren't self-conscious if they burp. 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