{"id":827,"date":"2014-12-23T23:13:57","date_gmt":"2014-12-24T06:13:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/?page_id=827"},"modified":"2015-08-20T13:01:08","modified_gmt":"2015-08-20T19:01:08","slug":"why-listen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/why-listen\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Listen?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"shoes-696830_1280\"<\/p>\n

“Pick up your shoes!”<\/p>\n

“Clear the table!”<\/p>\n

“You’ve left your coat on the couch.”<\/p>\n

“Don’t leave a wet towel on your bedroom floor!”<\/p>\n

Sound familiar? I sometimes feel like I am a repeating public announcement:<\/strong> “Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle until it comes to a complete stop” . . . “No smoking in the terminal”.<\/p>\n

I don’t want to be a nag, and I know kids can easily go “parent deaf” if much of our communication is just remind-remind-remind<\/strong>. I was thinking hard about this when it hit me\u2014why should they listen?!<\/em> <\/strong>Is there any benefit involved? Is there any good reason to tune in to a parent’s constant reminders? Or is it just mom going through the drill of repeating, reminding and nagging?<\/p>\n

Having had this brilliant thought, it occurred to me to make it worth Louisa’s while to pick up the towel off her bedroom floor\u2014or better yet, to motivate her not to ever throw it there in the first place. This was my biggest gripe and my constant nag, so\u2014without any fanfare\u2014I posted a note on the bathroom mirror: “$1 charge for a towel on the floor”.<\/p>\n

Guess how many times she paid $1? Actually just once! Unfortunately, I had trained her to ignore me,<\/strong> to know that I would repeat it over a few more times before expecting action. So, she didn’t really believe that I meant what I posted. I saw the towel on her floor and playfully demanded payment with out-stretched hand: “Aha! I caught you! One dollar, please!”<\/p>\n

Oh my, I was for real! Now there was a reason to listen!\u00a0<\/strong>Now she was on guard! It became worth her while to regulate herself.<\/p>\n

This didn’t make me feel very good. Oh, yes, I was thrilled to be able to stop reminding her, but I felt rather bad that I had allowed myself to become a negative background noise. <\/strong> The cure was just too easy. That was 3 months ago and it is still working. There have been no towels on her floor ever, even though the note is long gone. Why? Well, it finally became beneficial for her to change her behavior. I wish I could have realized that earlier, and saved my breath!<\/p>\n

Next time you open your mouth to issue a command, to nag or remind, ask yourself, “why should they listen?”<\/em> Once there is a reason that benefits them, they’ll hear quite well even if it is whispered<\/strong> just once, or posted without a word.<\/p>\n

To your parenting success!
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

May I recommend:<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n

\"homeschooling_0086_DCP_2842_2\"
\nThe King of Me
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\n

\"IMG_2708_2-150x150\"
\nZoned Out Kids
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\"6397\"
\nChoreganizers
\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Pick up your shoes!” “Clear the table!” “You’ve left your coat on the couch.” “Don’t leave a wet towel on your bedroom floor!” Sound familiar? I sometimes feel like I am a repeating public announcement: “Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle until it comes to a complete stop” . . . “No smoking […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6174,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7,10],"tags":[40,147,86,89],"class_list":["post-827","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-homeschooling-parenting","category-why-homeschool","tag-child-discipline","tag-nagging","tag-obedience","tag-parenting","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/shoes-696830_1280.jpg?fit=1280%2C913&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6IrRN-dl","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1182,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/zoned-out-kids\/","url_meta":{"origin":827,"position":0},"title":"Zoned Out Kids","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am at wit's end with my daughter. I tell her, remind her, nag her, coax her and still she will not do what I ask. I don't want to punish her all the time. She seems to turn a deaf ear to me. It is very hard to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/why-homeschool\/homeschooling-parenting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/IMG_2708_2.jpg?fit=639%2C465&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/IMG_2708_2.jpg?fit=639%2C465&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/IMG_2708_2.jpg?fit=639%2C465&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":791,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/dont-ask-twice\/","url_meta":{"origin":827,"position":1},"title":"Don’t Ask Twice","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 When my kids were younger, going to the grocery store with them could be such a struggle! Each of them in turn was bedazzled by some treat or toy that they caught a glimpse of and the begging would begin: \"Can we buy those cookies?\" . . . \"I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/why-homeschool\/homeschooling-parenting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/balls-712026_1280.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/balls-712026_1280.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/balls-712026_1280.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/balls-712026_1280.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":819,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/never-reward-negative-behavior\/","url_meta":{"origin":827,"position":2},"title":"Never Reward Negative Behavior","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 One of the most important lessons that I ever learned is: \"Never reward negative behavior!\" That one line can make a world of difference in your family life. It is so simple, really! Think of the little boy\u00a0in the shopping cart seat who is whining, whining for candy. We've\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/why-homeschool\/homeschooling-parenting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/boy-504326_1280-e1430181875326.jpg?fit=880%2C841&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/boy-504326_1280-e1430181875326.jpg?fit=880%2C841&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/boy-504326_1280-e1430181875326.jpg?fit=880%2C841&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/boy-504326_1280-e1430181875326.jpg?fit=880%2C841&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1202,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/husband-wont-let-me-homeschool\/","url_meta":{"origin":827,"position":3},"title":"Husband Won’t Let Me Homeschool","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am desperate to homeschool my child. 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Answer: Oh,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Concerns"","block_context":{"text":"Concerns","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/how-to-homeschool\/homeschooling-concerns\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/daniel.jpg?fit=400%2C300&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":789,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/dont-un-train-your-kids\/","url_meta":{"origin":827,"position":4},"title":"Don’t "Un-train" Your Kids!","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"This past week, we visited Sea World in San Diego and enjoyed ourselves!\u00a0I couldn't help noticing the children in the crowd\u2014and the training their parents were unknowingly giving them\u2014in contrast to the sea animals and the purposeful training they were carefully receiving. When the walrus even turned his head in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/why-homeschool\/homeschooling-parenting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/seaworld.jpg?fit=448%2C336&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":799,"url":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/mad-kids-work\/","url_meta":{"origin":827,"position":5},"title":"Mad Kids & Work","author":"Diane Hopkins","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Louisa was good-and-mad at me (and probably at herself, too). So, I did the unnatural thing: I assigned dishwashing duty to her. At first the pots and pans were being banged around and she was sulky, upset, and sure she was mistreated. Surprisingly, 10 minutes later she was humming happily.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/category\/why-homeschool\/homeschooling-parenting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/Photoxpress_276653.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/Photoxpress_276653.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/Photoxpress_276653.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/Photoxpress_276653.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/Photoxpress_276653.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/827","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=827"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/827\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7901,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/827\/revisions\/7901"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6174"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=827"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=827"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyhomeschooling.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=827"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}